Freaking drug dealers

So I have a cold - not a regular "my nose is running a bit and I sneeze every once in a while" cold mind you but rather a "someone please beat me over the head with a blunt object" cold. So I went to Kroger to buy some Sudafed - but guess what...now, Sudafed is kept behind a locked counter because apparently, if you know what you are doing, you can use Sudafed to create Crystal Meth. It was late and the pharmacy was already closed, so instead I had to buy "new formula" Sudafed which has been changed so that no matter how hard you try, you can't make Crystal Meth out of it.

Guess what - the new shit doesn't work!

So, I'm sitting here, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching and wishing ghonorrea on all the freaking drug dealers who had to go and figure out how to use cold medicine to make drugs. However, I have also come to an interesting conclusion. If after removing the part of Sudafed which can be used to make Crystal Meth, the medicine no longer works, I have no choice but to conclude that Crystal Meth cures the common cold.

I wonder if I can buy it on eBay?