Be healthy...be safe.
203?! 203!!! How did I get to 203!!! I spend half my life in the studio! 203?!!! This will not do. Must eat less...must eat less. No more fast food. No more ice cream. No more desserts...I can do this.
193...193 I can live with. I like 193 - it’s a good number. Not so high that it rounds up, not so low that it rounds down...that would make it 190. I like 190 even more. 190...that’s a better number...must eat less. Smaller portions, I can skip breakfast - no more exceptions...I can do this.
187...187 I can live with. I like 187 - it’s a good number, and I love the way it looks. “You look like a dancer, they say” - I like that. 187...one could round up, but why do that? Of course, it’s a little too high to round down…that would make it 180. I like 180 even more...that’s a better number. Must eat less. Tiny portions, I can skip lunch too...wait - my building has a gym...I can work out too! That’s it - after ballet, before sleep....run, run, run in place. I’m exhausted...I can do this.
180...I like the way I look...tall, thin, lean. They say OCD people should diet very carefully, but what do they know? I look great...I’m starving. 180...it’s a good number. If it was a little lower, it would in the 170s...the high 170s, but I could round down...lower is better, right? Must eat less...right?
Today....today I understand how eating disorders develop.
193...193 I can live with. I like 193 - it’s a good number. Not so high that it rounds up, not so low that it rounds down...that would make it 190. I like 190 even more. 190...that’s a better number...must eat less. Smaller portions, I can skip breakfast - no more exceptions...I can do this.
187...187 I can live with. I like 187 - it’s a good number, and I love the way it looks. “You look like a dancer, they say” - I like that. 187...one could round up, but why do that? Of course, it’s a little too high to round down…that would make it 180. I like 180 even more...that’s a better number. Must eat less. Tiny portions, I can skip lunch too...wait - my building has a gym...I can work out too! That’s it - after ballet, before sleep....run, run, run in place. I’m exhausted...I can do this.
180...I like the way I look...tall, thin, lean. They say OCD people should diet very carefully, but what do they know? I look great...I’m starving. 180...it’s a good number. If it was a little lower, it would in the 170s...the high 170s, but I could round down...lower is better, right? Must eat less...right?
Today....today I understand how eating disorders develop.
posted by Nicholas at 3:05 PM
5 Comments:
It's because you chew on your cuticles in class. You'd lose 5 lbs. if you stopped the autocannibalism.
You look great and you definitely have dancer's body. Stop torturing yourself!!
hugs,
Brooke
I think you look lovely.
You lost 20 lb? I thought you wanted to lose 4 lb? Nick - you aren't fat! Start eating!
FYI, I don't think you want to be at 187....187 is the number for Murder!
It is the designation for Murder and originated in the California Penal Code....hehehe...I said "Penal".
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